My Friend’s Husband’s Golf Joke

 

 

 

 

A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples’ alternate shot 
Tournament at his club.

He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down
the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said
to his wife, “Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will
be fine.”

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. Undaunted,
the husband said “That’s OK, Sweetheart” and spent the full five
minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time, but in a horrible
position. He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet
of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in.

His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker.
Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and
holed the shot from the bunker.

He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm
around his wife and calmly said, “Honey, that was a bogey five and that’s
OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole”.

To which she replied, “What are you talking about, only 2 of those shots were mine.”

The Championship Tournament

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Niner golf group had our Championship Tournament last Thursday.  The first day of the tournament was a week ago.  We weren’t able to have the second day of the tournament the next day, due to inclement weather.  Luckily, Thursday was a nice day.

It is fun playing with friends and enjoying each other’s great shots.  We have 3 different 9 hole courses.  The courses have “nice holes” and “not so nice holes.”  There is one hole that looks like it is 10 miles long.  It is one of those golf holes that you think you will never finish.  My friend said, “do you think we will ever get to the green?”  We laughed.  It did not look like we would, but finally we did.  We pick up after we get to 10 with normal play, but with the Championship Tournament, you play until you sink your putt.  I got an 11 on that long hole.  I was glad to move to the next one.

The next hole is number 5 and is a dog leg and not a bad hole, unless you go in the dreaded woods, which is easy to do.  The next hole, number 6, is also one of those, “not so nice holes.”  It is full of sand and a creek, that has been known to house snakes.  If you can get to the 3rd shot, you have to hit in between the creek and the woods.  You kind of want to just close your eyes and hope the ball goes straight.

We finished the round and had a winner and a medalist.  They will receive their prizes at our Holiday Party in December.  The prizes are golf throws with the Niners Champion Winner monogrammed on it.  It looks great and they will love it.  I would love to hear about your golf group and see any pictures.  I look forward to golf each week, playing with my wonderful friends.

A Golf Poem

 

 

 

 

Here is a golf poem that my husband found, and I am not sure who the author is:

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.

The Marshall

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Marshalls at the club, where I play golf, are always driving around making sure everyone is keeping up and moving right along.  If there are some gaps between holes, they ask everyone to speed up the play a bit.  We always tell them that we are not the problem.  We say that it is either the group in front of us or the group behind us, and could possibly be the men.  He tells us he knows that, but pleads with us to move faster.  We comply and move right along.  Someone might lose their ball, and we look in the woods for it.  We know we can’t take much time searching because the Marshall might think we are the slow culprits, which, of course, we aren’t.

The Marshalls do not have an easy job.  It is not easy telling golfers to hurry up and move.  They have to give wet towels to golfers when the hot summer is broiling everyone.  They must go retrieve a golf cart that have decided to just sit there.   They have to listen to endless stories and excuses as to why the golfer drove on the fairway, when it is “golf path only”.  I don’t know how they survive golfers’ laments.

We might be talking, laughing and having such fun and the Marshall will be driving up and we say, “look out, here comes the Marshall.”  We try to hurry and move on.  Marshalls add fun and excitement to our rounds of golf.  We are happy and are lucky that our club has such nice Marshalls; they are to be commended.

I would love to hear about yours, and if you have a picture, I will post it.

Golf Joke

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Husband and Wife Playing Golf

A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples’ alternate shot
Tournament at his club.

He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down
the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said
to his wife, “Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will
be fine.”

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. Undaunted,
the husband said “That’s OK, Sweetheart” and spent the full five
minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time, but in a horrible
position. He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet
of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in.

His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker.
Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and
holed the shot from the bunker.

He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm
around his wife and calmly said, “Honey, that was a bogey five and that’s
OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole”.

To which she replied, “What are you talking about, only 2 of those shots were mine.”

Golf Tricks from Sportsrisq

 

 

 

 

 

Click on the picture for some fun golf tricks.  Not sure if you should try them all….

Two little-known leaders from golf.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

JOHNS CREEK, Ga. (AP) — Hardly anyone knows the two guys leading the PGA Championship.  Click on the picture for the article.

Watney flawless to win by 2 shots at Aronimink from golf.com

"NEWTOWN SQUARE, Pa. (AP) — Never mind that Nick Watney was the highest-ranked player at the AT&T National, or that he won a World Golf Championship in March. Stepping to the first tee Sunday in a tie for the lead at the AT&T National, he had reason to feel overlooked."  Read more  by clicking on the picture.

Arnold Palmer Article from USA Today

“LATROBE, Pa. — A catcher’s mitt, a fielder’s glove and a baseball rest on a chair in the workshop at Arnold Palmer‘s office, just across the street from Latrobe Country Club, where Palmer has lunch most days from May to October.”…..Read more from USA Today by clicking on the picture.